The past few weeks have been intense. There was a deadline, which led to nightly work. There was a crowdfunding campaign to prepare. A video that had to be filmed and edited. And let’s not forget a cello that needs to be touched consistently because I’ve set some ridiculous goal again (to learn an entire Britten solo suite by heart by the end of the month). I love my job, really. But now I have the flu again. Sigh.
On the couch with a blanket, a certain streaming service came in handy. The binge of the day: a new fantasy series. Give me some magic, I thought.
A few episodes later I’m sitting depressed and exhausted, staring into empty space and seriously wondering if I haven’t gotten even sicker in the past few hours. Hallelujah, so much bloody violence. I’m not even going to say which series it was because it isn’t the first time this has happened. I am certainly not against some violence in a film or series, it is all not real and a storyline sometimes needs to gain momentum through something bad. But it does seem as if violence and bloody stuff are increasingly just a goal in itself. As a viewer you are manipulated of course. So much bad karma and you feel: this one really has to die at the end.
On the news, another kind of streaming service, you also see a lot of those types crawling across the screen these days, and I notice the same reflex in myself: this one just has to die as soon as possible, can’t someone just arrange that.
Do you get that too? That eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth thinking. That someone who does something bad just has to go. *Grim voice* “This has to have consequences” – that kind of thing.
Where has innocence gone these days? I wonder. This is what the Tao is about, among other things: rediscovering, understanding and training your own innocence. Maybe that aspect was very important for Taoist warriors in the past. Because when you’re in a battle, chopping off limb after limb while trying to survive, all the gray becomes either black or white. You’re with us or you’re against us. But the end of a war is never black and white. When the dust settles, there are only victims. Food for thought in these polarizing times.
In any case, I’m going to read a book today and listen to beautiful music. And do a Tao meditation on innocence. Let’s see if that makes me feel better.
Want to read more of my musings? Subscribe to my newsletter.
