My relationship to vagueness has changed in the past years.
I remember well, when I was thirty, speaking with my therapist about ‘just not knowing’ as a state of being that I had to learn to endure.
Well allright then, when it came to that slippery great love.
There was no other option anyway.
But in my work, my music, I went for clarity.
It had to be as good as possible, specifically: perfect.
The notes are already on paper, it’s a matter of interpreting them in the most ideal way possible.
And that requires practice. Lots of practice.
Right.
Then came the Alexander technique.
Surrender to the ‘unknown’ is necessary there.
And yet a few years later, I started acting.
I encountered vagueness in many forms.
“What do you mean by this assignment?”
“What are we actually talking about?”
“But where are we going with all this?”
I have unlearned to ask those questions.
Man, it’s so wonderful to surrender to vagueness.
To just enthusiastically dive into an assignment even when I fell clueless about the why, or even feel resistance toward.
Often this means getting past shame and embarassment.
And that is wonderful too.
And you know what is so special?
It happens more than once that.. something happens.
Something special. Something new.
Something that surprises everyone present.
Do you dare to jump into the unknown? Are you curious what you will encounter? Then Alexander technique is something for you! Check out my website if you dare!
Foto: Timothy Dykes
