The trouble started when I was twelve. During gym class at my new school, while we had to walk one by one over the balance beam, one of those cute classmates called out loudly: “Wow Doris, are you pregnant or what!” To the great amusement of the rest of the class.
Selfconscious about my so called fat belly, I wished I could disappear.
Later, there were ballet teachers and associated mirrors, cello masters and others yet who felt my belly should not be there, or that I should ‘tone it up slightly’ while playing a difficult passage on the cello.
Even later, luckily there was someone who said I did have to breathe. Only, that was not easy with such a tight belly.
And feeling what lives there, setting boundaries when someone wanted to shove something in there, turned out to be bloody hard – me having surrounded the area with barbed wire and put my own do-not-enter-sign next to it.
My belly had become no man’s land.
Then, thank God, someone came along who told me ever so gently: you may relax your belly. I remember it perfectly: it was during my second Alexander technique lesson.
And against all the negative voices in my head, I did it that day. I released my belly.
That was the beginning of a long road home, back to my belly.
I discovered the Tao, and learned to turn inwards with love and gentle attention, and to thank all my wonderful organs for their lifelong work.
I learned that the belly speaks if you listen and tells you exactly what’s right and what’s not, what’s yes please and what’s most certainly not, where the boundaries are and, time and again: which direction I should take.
As a teacher in the Alexander technique, I now understand why back then, my teacher told me I could release my belly. Because without a soft belly, the diaphragm is also stiff. So, you won’t breathe freely. So, you won’t feel comfortable. So, you will always live with a tight feeling, as if you are still stuck in that corset, even though that was abolished more than a century ago.
But I’m done with all that, and you can be done with it too. We get to be a bit gentler towards our bellies and let go of them a bit more often.
Secretly, I am convinced that this can change the world.
Do you also want be more present in your belly? Then be welcome for an Alexander technique lesson, or sign up for my newsletter.
foto: Towfiqu Barbhuiya
